Raising The Unexpected

Woman kneeling down, helping a child with his coat.  Text in front reads, 'Raising The Unexpected.'

When I found out that I was pregnant I just knew I was having a girl.  I hadn’t had the best experiences from being female and I was ready to take on parenthood where I could advise and protect my little girl.  I dreamt of her growing up and of shopping for wedding dresses, etc.  I was super prepared which made me even more excited.

When we were at a scan, the nurse asked if I would like to know the gender of the baby and I excitedly said yes.  This was the moment I would receive my confirmation that my what I felt was right.


'It’s a boy!' She said.

'What on earth was going on?' I thought.


In typical comedic fashion my husband celebrated in 'his knowing' that we were going to have a boy.  Joy filled his face as he told me that he was right all along.  I even think that moment has a place on his resume that he was right and I was wrong. Rascal.

I just remember being quiet and stunned after the hospital trip.

I didn’t know how to raise a boy.  

I didn’t know what challenges he would face.  

I didn’t know what thoughts he would have.  

I didn’t know how he could translate the world. 

Even though I didn’t not get blessed with what I thought I was going to, I can tell you that my son is perfect for me.

When my little guy was born I was panicked but I had a patient child, (for the most part), and my little guy has taught me so much.  

My longing for a daughter never stopped and unfortunately it has never came to pass and on a walk I wondered and questioned why I hadn’t brought a girl into our family.  Through my prayers I realised I had something even more powerful going on.

I wanted a daughter so that she could impact the world and her family and if I am honest, I wanted to in someway rewrite all the bad stuff that happened to me.  Then I thought about my son.   I came to realise that my son was an even greater responsibility who could fulfil that dream but in a different way.

I had a child who I could teach about how to treat a woman properly.

I had a boy who could grow up to support women and his daughters fiercely.

I had a future man who could be a blessing to his partner and raise sons to respect and value women.

I am raising a family patriarch.

I am raising someone who will be a safe male and create space for women like me.

I am pouring in to a son who would not hurt women the way men had hurt me.

He will fulfill my dream even though he is not in the package that I expected.

Why am I sharing this with you?

I just wanted to encourage you that even though your life may not look how you expected or desired for it to look, that there is something going on far beyond what you can see.  

Be brave and commit to what you have and build upon it and you will see amazing things come to pass.

My little guy not only taught me to be a good mum but he fuelled my children’s books.  Each one is from a game that we have played or from a made up song we have sung together.  

God has used my child to be instrumental in me becoming who I am today.  If I had of got what I wanted and planned there is no guarantee that I would have the life I have now.

Embrace the craziness of the unexpected. 

Cherish what you have. 

It will likely lead to something spectacular. 

But if it asks you to pull his finger, don’t.  It’s a trap.

I hope that I have encouraged you today.  If you need support do reach out to someone or an organisation that can help.  If you would like to share your story or contact me please feel free to private message me on our Facebook page or on Instagram.  You can also email me using theencouragerslife@gmail.com address.  Be sure to check out our next article here on ‘The Encouragers Life.’


Article written by J. Bingham

Author Photo

Copyright 2021

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