I Have No Idea What I am Doing!
Have you ever thought that?
There you are - in a situation you don't quite know if you are equipped to handle - wondering if you will make a mess of your life.
I have been there too!
There is a lot of pressure to know it all.
I remember having those feelings as a kid, teen, young adult - my goodness last week - just faking my way through situations so I wouldn't appear foolish or unprepared.
As I write this piece, I am thinking to myself, 'enough is enough.'
Where did the idea, that I had to know everything, come from?
Why do I feel foolish if I don't know the answer to a question?
Why do I feel unprepared if something happens that I have never, ever, tackled before?
Is it society?
Does society expect us to succeed so much, that we just have to do life on a wing and prayer and hope that no one finds out that we actually don't know what we are doing?
Is it cultural?
Does it come from the things we were taught?
'Don't show anyone you weaknesses. '
'Don't ask for help.'
'Be the one that people need, don't need people.'
'Learn on your own.'
'Practice and just hope that you have the right answer when someone asks a question.'
Is it us?
Are we that scared of failure that we become fake?
I remember being told, 'fake it until you make it,' and I lived with the overwhelm of never feeling like I had it all together. What I did feel was unsafe, and I felt it all the time. I was waiting for someone to notice that I didn't know what I was doing, and then get told off.
The truth is, I know what I know and what I don't - I can learn.
I had to ask myself...
Why don't I feel ok to ask more questions?
Who will it hurt to say, can you explain that further?
Why don't I challenge someone's demands on me?
Why don't I simply say, ' I will have to think about that.'
We live in a world where we have become used to instant results.
But we are not the world.
We live in it.
But we don't have to be like it.
We can set our own standards.
We can set our own limits.
We can set our own boundaries.
I want to encourage us, that we don't have to be like anyone else.
We don't have to know everything.
We can ask for help.
We can have conversations that stretch our thinking- and then take time to digest the new information, rather than adopt it there and then.
We don't have to act instantly like the internet.
We can take our time.
We can process and see where things fit within us.
We can also throw away the stuff that is broken or repurpose it to make something useful.
Life is a mystery.
We aren't meant to know everything.
We are meant to know what excites us, what interests us and what is useful.
If we pay attention and reflect on our days we can usually identify that we learned something new.
If it is good then store it for when you need it.
If it isn't good, return it to sender and have nothing more to do with it.
And if you have that feeling that you are out of your depth, remember that you are built to float.
Relax in to it.
Conserve your energy.
Come up for a some air.
And keep a look out for assistance.
You are doing better than you think.
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Be sure to check out our next article here on ‘The Encouragers Life.’