1. Deciding Whether I Wanted To Be Right Or Be Happy
I went through the situation with a fine tooth comb looking for anything that I had done to create momentum to the event. If I did, I learnt from it and figured out ways to avoid it happening again. I didn’t condemn myself, and that took a lot of effort. I had the option of telling myself off or telling myself how I could have done things better. One will lead to growth and the other will imprison. I wanted to be free so I had to learn. When I could find nothing it was a matter of just having to accept that I would never understand the motive behind it.
2. Cleaning House
3. Wish Them The Best
Any time I told myself that I had to forgive, my insides would jolt. When someone puts you through trauma it’s the hardest thing to do. I had to change the language around it to help me understand it differently. It wasn’t about wiping out what had happened but it was about saying goodbye. I had to end the chapter. Not everyone we meet is meant to be in our life and I didn’t have to keep this person in mine. I never met with them but I did wish them all the best and said goodbye in the comfort of my home. After that I thought about that person less and then thought about what had happened less. It was freeing. It was forgiveness.
4. I Lived
As I adopted these practices I began to feel lighter. The lighter I felt the more motivated I was. I accepted that I can’t control what others do and that after everything, I was still standing. I began to write. I began to develop. And now I am published and looking to the future. I have learnt that the future holds more good than it does bad and although hard times can overwhelm it’s important to remember that we live in seasons. Seasons change and I am able to adjust my circumstances and environments to move me in to the new. Things will always change.
Overwhelm, betrayal and disappointments robbed so much of my life. I hope by sharing my story I can bring hope and encouragement to someone in the world.
Article written by Jacqueline Bingham